Simple Sex Tips to Turn Her On

Most bedroom problems boil down to this: Men are microwaves and women are slow cookers.

With men, all you have to do is push a few buttons and we"re hotter than a habanero. But with women, it"s an all-day process. You have to buy the ingredients, mix them together, and then put everything in the pot and let it simmer . . . and simmer . . . and simmer.

That"s why we"re offering a microwave mentality for the Crock-Pot reality: quick, easy things you can do to make her heating speeds better match yours. Our suggestions take anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. The payoff? They"ll quickly adjust her thermostat to high heat.


Buy Her a Silk Thong--

A gift of lingerie is cliched, right? So twist it. Give it to her when you (seemingly) don't expect sex right then and there. Pass it under the table at a restaurant and ask her to go to the ladies' room and change into it. "It's a little naughty, but she has a chance to play back. Not recommended for a first date.

Embrace Her Until She Ends It--
Good kissing tops most women's lists of turn-ons, but don't underestimate the heating power of a great hug, especially when she initiates it. "Let her know how much you savor it," says Lou Paget, author of 365 Days of Sensational Sex. Make it clear you don't want the hug to end.


Wear Her Name---
Women love to hear men use their names. The more unexpected the place—like in the middle of a sentence—the better. Better still, write her name on your shoulder, your hand, or anyplace she'll have a chance of spotting it. It's a tattoo without pain—one that gives only pleasure. "It will make her laugh and think you're so adorable," says Davidson. "It says, 'You matter.' "

Whisper into Her Ear---
In public, at a party, tell her what you want to do to her later: "Tonight, I'm going to make you have as many orgasms as possible." For women, anticipating it can be as exciting as the actual event.

Plant a Picture---
Stash a photo of her in your wallet. She'll deny it, but all women rummage at some point. You might as well turn it to your advantage.

Skip the Flowers---
Blooms at the office are overdone. If you want to stand out, send a card instead. "It's really the thoughtful things you do at nonsexual times that make a woman want you," says Paul Joannides, author of Guide to Getting It On! Go with a thank-you. Write out a few things you've never thanked her for—making breakfast on Sunday, cleaning your stubble out of the sink. An appreciated woman during the day is an appreciative woman at night.

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.     

Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.

2.     

We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not   mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.

3.     

Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
 

4.     

Helpless is not cute.

5.     

Get to the point.

6.     

Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.

7.     

You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

8.     

If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?

9.     

Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.

 

10.     

We would not wear high heels to impress you.
 

11.     

Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
 

12.     

For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.

13.     

If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
 

14.     

If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.
 

15.     

Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
 

16.     

We need to vegetate.
 

17.     

We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
 

18.     

We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
 

19.     

We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
 

20.     

When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
 

21.     

It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.
 

22.     

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
 

23.     

If it itches, it will be scratched.
 

24.     

If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
 

25.     

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
 

26.     

Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
 

27.     

Sundays equals sports. Period.
 

28.     

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
 

29.     

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
 

30.     

You have enough clothes.
 

31.     

You have too many shoes.
 

32.     

Crying is blackmail.
 

33.     

Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
 

34.     

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
 

35.     

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
 

36.     

We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
 

37.     

Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?
 

38.     

Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
 

39.     

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
 

40.     

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
 

41.     

Check your oil.
 

42.     

Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
 

43.     

It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
 

44.     

It doesn't matter which quiz.
 

45.     

Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
 

46.     

If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
 

47.     

If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
 

48.     

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
 

49.     

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
 

50.     

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
 

51.     

If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
 

52.     

Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
 

53.     

Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
 

54.     

Ditto melon.
 

55.     

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.

25 Ailments That Can Be Cured By Having Sex

Sex is great for your relationship, but did you know that it’s also great for your overall health? That’s right-sex has been found to help with conditions ranging from the common cold to high blood pressure. And although you’re not likely to come home from your next doctor’s appointment with a scribbled prescription for sex, it can be highly effective as a preventative measure and complementary treatment. Read on to find out what conditions you’re protecting yourself from every time you enjoy a roll in the hay.

1. Depression: Without the help of researchers, just about anyone can agree that sex will make you feel good about yourself and better about your relationship. But one researcher has said there’s a scientific explanation that goes a bit farther. Professor Gordon Gallop says that there’s an unknown chemical in semen that has an antidepressant effect on women.
2. Pregnancy: Sex is both the cause and the cure for pregnancy. Women who are ready to induce labor often have sex to speed up the process, and research backs up this method. Semen contains prostaglandins, which help the cervix prepare to open, and orgasms produce oxytocin, which will help cause contractions.
3. Headaches: Although sex can sometimes bring on a headache, it can cure them too. The tension release your body experiences during and after sex can ease restricted blood vessels in the brain.
4. Menstrual cramps: Sex acts as an analgetic to relieve menstrual pain, primarily because of the relaxation and endorphins sex brings.
5. Arthritis: In his book, "How to Treat Arthritis with Sex and Alcohol," rheumatologist Carter V. Multz asserts that sex, as well as alcohol and other complementary treatments, can reduce pain, swelling, and inflammation associated with arthritis.
6. Common cold: Manfred Schedlovski, a Swiss researcher from Zurich, asserts that sex has a positive effect on phagocytes, which are a part of the immune system that goes after alien bodies, like cold germs, and kills them. Phagocytes are increased signficantly during sex, and will often double after orgasm.
7. Stress: Orgasms offer a great way to relax, and even nonorgasmic sex offers some relief. Dr. Joshua Golden asserts sex’s relaxation properties, as well as emotional benefits.
8. Tooth decay: Kissing, as well as oral sex, encourages saliva production. This increase in saliva helps to wash food particles from your teeth, prevents plaque build-up, and helps lower decay-causing acid. Additionaly, seminal plasma has been shown to help prevent tooth decay.
9. Erectile dysfunction: By exercising your Kegel muscles with frequent sex and delaying ejaculation, men can help strengthen muscles enough to help with minor erection problems.
10. High blood pressure: Semen has been found to lower blood pressure in women. Specifically, swallowing semen can help ward off preeclampsia, which is a dangerously high blood pressure that sometimes occurs during pregnancy.
11. Insomnia: Many people find that the relaxation they experience after sex helps them go to sleep.
12. Prostate cancer: Men who ejaculate more frequently have been found to be at a lower risk of developing prostate cancer.
13. Hangovers: Sex may not save your liver, but it will help you shake off a funk. Having sex will help boost your endorphins and oxytocins, which stimulate muscle contraction and help you avoid aggressiveness.
14. Toxic system: Sex gets your blood pumping faster, which helps to rid the body of waste.
15. Heart disease: Studies have shown that if men have sex twice a week or more, they tend to have a lower risk of heart attack. For women, increased levels of estrogen caused by sex help to protect against heart disease.
16. Stubborn wounds: Studies have found that oxytocin, which is released during sex, can help wounds heal faster.
17. Low energy: Sex increases energy through exercise and emotional well-being.
18. Minor cognitive problems: Whenever you become sexually excited or have an orgasm, the hormone DHEA is released. DHEA has been found to improve cognition.
19. Skin irritations: The sweat released during sex will cleanse your pores, helping to relieve rashes, blemishes, and other skin problems.
20. Pain: Orgasm releases endorphins, which will alleviate pain for just about everything.
21. Obesity: Although few doctors are likely to prescribe a sex diet, the fact is that sex is a form of exercise. Performing the act of sex requires physical activity that will burn calories and strengthen your heart. It’s an especially great exercise for those who have little motivation to get to the gym.
22. Incontinence: Every time you have sex, you’re exercising your Kegel muscles, which are the same ones you use to stem the flow of urine.
23. Weak bones and muscles: Sex brings on a boost of testosterone, which helps to make your bones and muscles strong.
24. Semen allergy: Unfortunately, some women are allergic to their partner’s semen. However, along with other treatments, frequent sex has been found to work as an effective desensitization therapy for this allergy.
25. Death: That’s right, sex can help ward off death for men. Professor Stuart Brody reports that men who orgasm twice a week are half as likely to die as those who only orgasm once a month.
    

SEX Giving ‘blow jobs make women happier’

Women who have oral sex become happier and more intelligent according to an American study, writes the Daily Mail.
Scientists at the State University of New York have proved that semen contains a wide range of sleep-improving, mood-rising and affection-increasing chemicals as well as at least three anti-depressants.
The study, carried out via a survey to 293 females about their sex lives, also claimed that regular unprotected sex helped women getting higher scores on cognitive tests.
After finding that semen contains chemicals such as cortisol (increasing affection), melatonin (for good sleep) and serotonin (an antidepressant), researchers Gordon Gallup and Rebecca Burch hypothesised women who had unprotected sex would get happier than those using condom.
The result showed that sexually active straight women – even those describing themselves as ‘promiscuous’ – who used condom, got depressed as often as women who had no sex at all.
 Sexually active condom-less women, on the other hand, showed far less symptoms of depressions.
The study also found that women’s bodies can notice semen from someone different than a frequent sex partner. This evolved system was said to make it harder for women to get pregnant from unknown sperm.
How happy women are catching STDs or getting involuntarily pregnant from non-protected sex wasn’t shown in this study.
American sex columnist Michael Castleman commented the result on Psychology Today: “I'm not advocating that reproductive-age people shun condoms to elevate women's mood at the risk of unplanned pregnancy. But this effect might come in handy for women over age 50, who are experiencing menopausal blues.”

Good Things Bad Things in SEX

Energisers

Catch you on a good day and you're an exciting, seductive creature who mesmerizes and dazzles your lovers with bucket loads of confidence, extraordinary technique and unbridled enthusiasm. The downside is you're a little self-absorbed and like to be top of the game in everything you do - including sex.

Is this you?

• Are you pretty much up for anything? You like talking dirty, watching porn, trying out sex toys and having sex outside?
• When you ask 'How was it for you?' do you really mean 'How was I?'...?
• Do you see sex as a source of pleasure, fun and a great way to connect to your partner?
  

The good news: Because you're highly motivated, you can happily match with people with an average or even low sex drive. You put the effort in to capture their interest and constantly come up with new things to keep them interested.

Not so good: God help a lover who is ungrateful, not really interested in making sex a priority or generally unenthusiastic. You don't mind them needing a little prompting but enthusiasm and attitude are everything. Your partner also needs to be technically adept so they can satisfy you.

Stabilisers

Cautious and cooperative, as the name suggests, you'll do anything for a peaceful life. Kind and generous, you initially present as heaven on a stick - especially to someone who's just emerged, bruised and battered from a relationship with a demanding energizer. But - unusually - you'd rather give than receive pleasure. You don't like talking about sex problems and tend to clam up.
Is this you?

• Do you get more pleasure giving than receiving?
• Do you feel uncomfortable speaking up about what you need your partner to do to satisfy you?
• Do partners often ask if you enjoy having sex with them because they're not sure?
  

The good news: Your enthusiasm for giving pleasure is phenomenal - you'll happily settle in to perform oral sex for an hour without once complaining of lock jaw so bad, you're about to pass out.

Not so good: Your partner's lucky to get a moan or groan when they reciprocate because you have trouble expressing your own pleasure. And you actually like routine in your sex sessions - not everyone else does.

Are you erotophilic or erotophobic? FEMAIL sexpert Tracey Cox helps determine YOUR sex personality...

• Pretty much up for anything? You're probably an energiser
• Is your self-esteem low both in and out of bed? You might be a worrier
  

The Stabiliser: Partners often ask if you enjoy having sex with them because they're not sure

Connectors

For you, sex is more about expressing love and feelings than it is physical release. You're less interested in sexual performance and more focused on the emotional benefits of sex: intimacy rather than orgasm is your aim.
Is this you?

• Are you more inclined to cuddle up than initiate sex?
• Does the emotional temperature have to be just right before you can get in the mood for sex?
• Are you more interested in romantic sex than lusty or 'dirty' sex?
  

The good news: You're a forgiving lover and so long as you feel your partner loves you, will tolerate most sex drives. You're realistic about sex so reasonably easy to please in a physical sense.

Not so good: A lusty but disconnected lover who gets too lost in the physical side will leave you cold. The whole point of having sex, for you, is to feel closer and connected to your partner. If that's missing, you won't enjoy it.

Worriers

It's not that you don't enjoy sex, it's just something that's often fraught with anxiety. You often feel under pressure to perform and worry you're inadequate - both in how you look and what you're doing in bed.
Is this you?

• Do you have a naturally low libido - or none at all?
• Have you had some distressing sexual encounters in your past and think of sex as something to be feared or disliked?
• Is your self-esteem low both in bed and out of it?
  

The good news: If you're prepared to challenge any out-dated beliefs and talk through negative experiences with a close friend or counsellor, things can improve tremendously.

Not so good: You may try to hide what you see as your 'secret' by sleeping with lots of people to prove to others (including yourself) that you enjoy being sexually active. You may also stay in bad relationships and have 'victim' sex: getting little or no enjoyment from it and doing it purely for your partner's pleasure. Of all the types, this is the one that needs challenging.

Controllers

You like routine both in and out of the bedroom and the feeling of being in control. You dislike change and find it quite stressful so the impromptu sexual surprise that would thrill others, instead freaks you out. Predictable sex that follows a tried-and-true set pattern is your idea of sexual nirvana.
Is this you?

• Do you feel threatened or insulted if your partner wants to try something new?
• Can you only orgasm through a particular, often quite specific technique?
• Do you like to be in control of your emotions generally?
  

The good news: Others might think your sex life dull but, in fact, you orgasm easily with your partner. Because you stick to the same method, the path to orgasm is well-travelled and if you train your body to orgasm a certain way, it reads the signposts easily, identifying predictable triggers to tip you over the edge.

Not so good: Your ideal match sexually is someone like you - more interested in good, regular, satisfying sex than trying new things that might possibly backfire. An energiser would alarm you with their need for novelty, a connector would be too intense.

Life Lessons, Written by a 98 year old

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
 

40 unwanted Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

1) NOT KISSING FIRST- Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR- Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING- You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs.When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST- Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES- Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts?
Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good.Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES- Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.


7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY- A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them someattention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED- Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT- Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS- Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK- Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY- Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY- Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA-Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY- You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY- Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST- A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST- When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD- you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has somethi ng to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.
Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.

Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES. is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY. makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.Women, You should forward this to all your boyfriends/husbands foruninterrupted PLEASURE !!!